1
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:43,200
I'm looking forward to it,
a weekend by the sea. Salt air in your lungs. Sun on the water.

2
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:48,240
Sand in your sandwiches.
I refuse to be discouraged.

3
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:54,600
You're looking forward to it, too.
When I called for you, you were whistling.

4
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,160
I'd just opened me electricity bill.

5
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,600
No, you were happy! Not so loud.

6
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,480
Nobody admits to being happy,
these days.

7
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,880
Exercise! The world is full
of social reformers

8
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:13,500
and nothing irritates them
more than some fool who's happy.

9
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:17,520
You need exercise. I don't keep
this figure by accident.

10
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,840
There's not a cloud.
We'll be all right if it holds.

11
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:28,760
We'll be able to sit here
all weekend, in the sunshine, waiting for Gordon and his mini-bus.

12
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:36,660
You take Ivy. Ivy is VERY steady.
You wouldn't catch her doing anything reckless, like being happy.

13
00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:41,800
He'll be here.
Gordon won't let us down.

14
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:48,540
The only time I've been let down
was when some fool agreed to stand as me best man(!)

15
00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:52,860
Hey-up. Hey-up. Foggy's gone, again.

16
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:55,320
F-F-Foggy.

17
00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:00,240
Fog-Fog. Uh! What is it, Foggy?
A-a-a-h!

18
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,360
Yes, well, no. I thought so.
Something's missing.

19
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:10,480
I've been running through
an inventory and I am sure there's something missing.

20
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,000
It's Compo.
What time will he get here?

21
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:21,680
I told him 09.00 hours. I gave him
instructions, written down in simple terms, for the average idiot.

22
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,980
He turns out to be
an above average idiot.

23
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:28,960
In the whole universe,
probably my favourite people.

24
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,340
He's late. Let's go without him.

25
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:38,980
You can't abandon the man.
No, you have to train him. He is a human being.

26
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:47,100
Foggy, you have just won the
Norman Clegg award for outstanding services to human lunacy.

27
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,620
We're not going without anybody.

28
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:55,720
Get yourself in t'holiday mood.
Are you sure you locked that door?

29
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,060
You've sent me to lock it 33 times.

30
00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:03,880
I've been up since six o'clock
just locking that blasted door.

31
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:10,840
Leaving me packing.
More like unpacking. "No room. Not an inch to spare."

32
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,400
Then she opens her mouth(!)

33
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,520
I heard that.
I've been hearing that for 30 years.

34
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:21,080
You're on holiday.
IF Gordon gets here.

35
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:25,340
How come you've got your postcards
before we get there?

36
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,700
They're cheaper here.

37
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,780
That's a reckless holiday spirit.

38
00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:39,220
I don't intend to be taken
for a ride. Just as well if you're depending on Gordon. Where is he?

39
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:42,660
They're all alike.
They're useless heaps.

40
00:03:42,660 --> 00:03:47,260
I quite like their Arnold.
He's just soft in the head.

41
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:53,960
The older I get,
the more I like dozy people. You get a lot of practice round here.

42
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,420
Give me a razor-sharp intellect.

43
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,900
Oh, I will. The minute I find one.

44
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:04,360
What's dozy about Arnold?
I got married with me eyes closed.

45
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,660
I did not wish to imply
that you weren't dozy, too.

46
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:11,740
Oh! That's all right, then.

47
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:17,080
Good material, Sidney. The sort of
person you could go paddling with.

48
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,280
I'm looking forward to seeing
Max Jaffa. Paddling?

49
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,880
He's coming now. Come and look.

50
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:28,860
'Bout time too. Oh-oh! God!
Just look at him!

51
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:33,880
Why is it he never cuts the figure
seen behind a regimental band?

52
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:38,520
He's more of an elastic band.
Here he is.

53
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,580
Here, Sid, get hold of that.
I do admire people who travel light.

54
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:47,520
You wouldn't believe
he was the Duke of Devonshire.

55
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,140
Or the Duke of Wellington(!)

56
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:53,220
Where are you going? It's survival.

57
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,800
Do you really need
this cardboard box?

58
00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,100
I've got my best brown hat in there.

59
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:07,280
It's the sort of rubbish normal
people put out for the dustbins. We're not going on safari.

60
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:12,200
Look at him standing there
like a bossy giraffe!

61
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,620
Ah-ha-ha!

62
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:22,360
You can't ruffle
my iron self-control.

63
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,940
Hups!
Hey! Look at those twinkle-toes.

64
00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:28,580
His trousers are up his nostrils.

65
00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:33,480
Get off. I'm not going if
it's one of them sort of holidays.

66
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,340
He looks like
a ventriloquist's dummy, doesn't he?

67
00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:42,880
Only when you pull the string.
Gottle of geer. ..Gottle of geer.

68
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,460
That's enough. I'm glad
to see you've made some effort. Ta.

69
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:54,020
You look like a National Health
gigolo. Ta. Yes, I like... Don't touch that!

70
00:05:54,020 --> 00:06:01,340
What the...? Come on!
What are you doing? Haven't you got a proper handkerchief? Hang on.

71
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:06,500
Put THAT away. It might come
in handy to clean a bicycle(!)

72
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,440
Oh! That is my aftershave.

73
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,700
If you ask for
the large size you get a tanker(!)

74
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,200
It's dead masculine.
It's called Biceps.

75
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,660
Smells more like footsteps(!)
It's an athletes' aftershave.

76
00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:29,720
I imagine
they'd have to sprint wearing THAT.

77
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:37,160
Biceps. Which obviously means
half of forceps, that is, a pair of tweezers with only one prong.

78
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,960
That could take a bit of getting
used to and THIS could too

79
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,000
which, of course,
explains why it's called Biceps.

80
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:54,120
It doesn't explain why you were
late. I said O9.00 hours. Hark at the Fuhrer. We will run on schedule.

81
00:06:54,120 --> 00:07:00,520
I couldn't help it.
I were trying to find somebody to leave me ferrets with.

82
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:07,760
Couldn't you have organised it
yesterday? Or come to me. I have a tactical brain.

83
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:14,920
I always leave 'em with Nora Batty
but, when I went next-door, it seems they've gone on holiday too.

84
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,960
People DO go away. If the bus comes.

85
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:26,420
I see our Ivy's in a nice holiday
spirit. It's nice of you to come. Give us a kiss, come on. P-put me...

86
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:29,980
Hey-up. The bus is 'ere.

87
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:34,980
Right. Norman, will you bring my
case? Somebody bring my case.

88
00:07:34,980 --> 00:07:38,800
Do you want the string as well?
Let's be off.

89
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,600
Hey-up, Gordon.

90
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,140
I hope you locked that back door.

91
00:08:00,340 --> 00:08:02,780
The bus is waiting.

92
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:20,720
You great, prongless fork.
"This holiday is going to be run on schedule(!)"

93
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:26,760
HORN BEEPS
Come on, Colonel. Come on.

94
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,880
INAUDIBLE

95
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:37,120
How far is it to Scarborough?
I don't know. Just a quick one while Gordon washes.

96
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:45,600
I must say, the landlord looks smart
which I take always to be a sign that the beer is going to be untidy.

97
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,980
It doesn't matter. We're on holiday.

98
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,480
Ugh! Mmm? O-er!
It does matter a little bit.

99
00:09:54,480 --> 00:10:00,000
"Seahaven is a superior
boarding establishment a short walk from the beach."

100
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,440
How about a swim before breakfast?

101
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,900
How about it? HOW about it?

102
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:12,520
I'll go myself. Jolly good. They
don't make 'em like THAT any more. They never did. What's the fuss?

103
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,500
We could do with that healthy glow
from a body driven to the limit.

104
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:22,520
I think they'd like to restrain
one of your most endearing features,

105
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,800
the courageous determination
to make a prat of yourself.

106
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:34,160
That's not nice. Do you see what
you've done? You've put him in a bad temper. He's a handsome prat.

107
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:40,880
Come on, Foggy.
Who's going on holiday, then? Little Foggy's going on holid-a-y.

108
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:44,380
I'll buy you a stick of rock,
a plate of whelks.

109
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:47,420
You remind me of my Auntie Bluebell.

110
00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:49,940
She didn't wear as much scent.

111
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:56,500
This place seems all right.
It would be good if someone went out and escorted Ivy in.

112
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:02,140
That's the second stupid idea
he's had in less than a minute.

113
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:08,280
It's a gift. Where's Gordon? Do you
think he's stuck in them toilets?

114
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:12,800
If he can drive a bus,
he can steer through that operation.

115
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,800
Perhaps he's having clutch trouble.

116
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:20,580
After all, he must have been
out there for about...about...

117
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:23,400
Hey-up. That's very space age.

118
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,940
Have you been bouncing payments?

119
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:30,480
Our Hilda's club.
She's in for a nervous Christmas.

120
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:37,440
How many dials has it got?
Oh, it's not only a watch. THAT is a calculator. How?

121
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:40,980
I'm not sure about that, yet.

122
00:11:40,980 --> 00:11:46,260
What time is it, then?
We-ll, it's um, er...

123
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:51,860
If you're a balloonist, it tells
how deep the water is. Useful(!)

124
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:56,560
It's water-resistant.
That would appeal. Biceps!

125
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:10,640
Where do you think you're going?
I'm trying to keep the beer off me jacket. What a performance!

126
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,920
Are you elbowing me?
I'm insisting on standards. Tory!

127
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:22,320
I don't care.
Listen, don't you...! Excuse me. Excuse the running battle.

128
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:28,220
This gentleman is
a stickler for etiquette and writes for the Catering Corps.

129
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:31,000
This gentleman isn't and doesn't.

130
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,280
Will you have one?
Not one of them two.

131
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:40,820
Well, er, I did really mean a drink.
He's a bit starchy, i'nt he?

132
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,720
What do you expect?

133
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:50,780
He's spent his life
building up a decent clientele and YOU walk through the door.

134
00:12:50,780 --> 00:12:58,180
I should very like to give you
a belt round the ear. Don't you... HEY-UP, Gordon! About time, too.

135
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,060
Nice toilets.

136
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:12,960
You can stay here
if you like, Gordon, but we're going to Scarborough.

137
00:14:01,071 --> 00:14:04,071
How about that, then? Smell the air.

138
00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:08,711
Fish'n'chips. And they say
there's no poetry in 'im(!)

139
00:14:08,711 --> 00:14:13,771
It might look peaceful, now, but
the German navy shelled it in 1914.

140
00:14:13,771 --> 00:14:19,811
I should think they've finished
by now. What time's high tide?

141
00:14:19,811 --> 00:14:27,811
Ask the striped gentleman. He's got
the world's most informative watch. BLOWS RASPBERRY

142
00:14:27,811 --> 00:14:31,791
Oh, look,
your Gordon's made friends already.

143
00:14:52,211 --> 00:14:55,211
INAUDIBLE

144
00:15:01,031 --> 00:15:03,491
Watch that box!

145
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:19,971
How do you do?

146
00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:54,511
Gordon. Come on, Gordon.

147
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:11,131
GROANING
Get in training, like I do. It's a pull up them stairs.

148
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:17,411
Five fluttering flights.
At least it's only one flight down to the bathroom.

149
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:25,251
Once the...red...mist starts
clearing from in front of your eyes, it's quite a nice room.

150
00:16:25,731 --> 00:16:32,691
I'm going to have a rest
and I'm going to tackle them stairs again about...Wednesday.

151
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:35,591
GONG

152
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:38,611
The place is on fire. That's lunch.

153
00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:42,611
Lunch is on fire? It's time to eat.

154
00:16:42,611 --> 00:16:47,671
That's a daft way to carry on. Why
don't they shout? Walk. Don't run.

155
00:16:47,671 --> 00:16:55,091
It may not be far to the beach but
it's a long way to the dining-room. Courage! It's downhill all the way.

156
00:16:59,411 --> 00:17:03,791
Ah! Yes, well,
I thought that was very palatable.

157
00:17:03,791 --> 00:17:06,371
We're still in Yorkshire, aren't we?

158
00:17:06,371 --> 00:17:12,531
We've not gone abroad like Anderson,
from Merkley Street. Where did he go?

159
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,031
Liverpool.

160
00:17:15,031 --> 00:17:18,091
He said the water was drinkable.

161
00:17:18,091 --> 00:17:20,531
Mmmm!

162
00:17:30,271 --> 00:17:34,531
Have you finished?
Yeah.

163
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:39,011
How about a refill?
I haven't time to sup tea all day.

164
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:45,771
Oh!
Smashed. Clumsy thing!

165
00:17:45,771 --> 00:17:49,931
I hope everything was all right?
First class.

166
00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:54,291
We was saying how nice it was,
Mrs Chaffer.

167
00:17:54,291 --> 00:18:01,191
Seldom have we received
such service. Oh, I'm glad. Call me Rose.

168
00:18:01,191 --> 00:18:07,911
I do try. It's all right now,
early season, but I get very flustered when we're full.

169
00:18:09,711 --> 00:18:12,751
Mabel's a treasure.

170
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:15,651
She looks as if she's been dug up(!)

171
00:18:20,511 --> 00:18:23,011
What the devil are YOU up to?

172
00:18:23,011 --> 00:18:27,511
I thought I'd take a few scraps up
for the seagulls.

173
00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:33,711
You don't feed seagulls.
They'll have your arm off or, in your case, your sleeve.

174
00:18:33,711 --> 00:18:39,051
They've got primitive internals.
It will go straight through them

175
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:43,511
and be deposited in the space
I saved for my trunks.

176
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:45,971
Hey-up. It's the Gestapo.

177
00:18:55,191 --> 00:18:58,691
God! Does he eat the bones an' all?

178
00:19:25,791 --> 00:19:28,771
INAUDIBLE

179
00:20:52,871 --> 00:20:55,371
Why does the sea taste of salt?

180
00:20:55,371 --> 00:20:58,511
I expect they ran out of vinegar.

181
00:20:58,511 --> 00:21:02,991
No, it's the mineral content.
The wear and tear on the rocks.

182
00:21:02,991 --> 00:21:10,211
You mean like sliding down
a fireman's pole? That's something I've always wanted to do.

183
00:21:10,211 --> 00:21:17,671
It must be difficult
climbing back up, especially, if you're shagged out after a fire.

184
00:21:17,671 --> 00:21:23,431
Hey-up! I think I saw a winkle.
Don't you know? Not really.

185
00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:27,251
It were gone in a flash. Never mind.

186
00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:34,391
They take too much training
to make good pets. What are you talking about?

187
00:21:34,391 --> 00:21:39,831
WINKLE-TRAINING.
They need a firm hand.

188
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:47,211
What about affection? Rubbish.
I've known more winkles ruined by over-pampering than any other cause.

189
00:21:47,211 --> 00:21:50,091
Hey, look, my shoes have gone green!

190
00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:53,011
From outside, or in?

191
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,831
Outside. It must be the rocks.

192
00:21:56,471 --> 00:22:03,991
Well, that's life. You start off
in the morning full of hope and by tea-time your shoes are going green.

193
00:22:06,131 --> 00:22:08,771
Oh, is that the time, already?

194
00:22:08,771 --> 00:22:14,471
Don't roll your sleeve up
for our benefit. We're only here for a weekend.

195
00:22:16,111 --> 00:22:19,551
WHISTLING

196
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:50,900
This is very pleasant.
I must confess to a feeling of optimism about this holiday.

197
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:56,280
It wasn't you on the bridge
that night, steering The Titanic(?)

198
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,500
I refuse to be discouraged.
Things are looking up.

199
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:04,020
He's been exposed
to my civilising influence.

200
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:09,520
He's been exposed in all sorts of
places(!) I'm keen to see his hat.

201
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,080
Have you had a peep at his socks,
lately?

202
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:19,260
I knew there was something I meant
to do. We can't cram everything in.

203
00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:22,720
You might be surprised. I was.

204
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:29,440
I thought the only way
to make the nights tolerable would be to banish his socks.

205
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:36,000
I approached them, gingerly.
I turned them with my ruler/spirit level...

206
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:42,940
You've got a nerve.
..only to find that they are brand-new and relatively harmless.

207
00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:46,300
What's more, his FEET are CLEAN.

208
00:23:47,060 --> 00:23:51,900
You don't think he's been
sneaking off and having a paddle?

209
00:23:51,900 --> 00:23:55,540
No. It's my belief
he's been washing them.

210
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,860
The whole world is upside-down(!)

211
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:05,720
What's more, this is the third time
that he's been down to the bathroom.

212
00:24:12,180 --> 00:24:16,220
Will you be there
EVERY time I go to the bathroom?

213
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:21,520
I can't promise to be here
EVERY time. I don't get up early.

214
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:26,220
But I'll catch you at bed-time
with a little bit of luck.

215
00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:35,940
WHISTLES

216
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:47,040
Early to bed, early to rise, makes
a man healthy, wealthy and...bored.

217
00:24:54,780 --> 00:24:58,480
Er, you ARE waiting to go in there,
Uncle Bill?

218
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:03,720
You must be joking, Gordon.
It's much more fun out here.

219
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:09,140
 Oh, I am,
I'm a stranger in paradise

220
00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:15,680
 My passion for Edna White
The girl with the steamy eyes. 

221
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:22,040
Hey, I'm gonna like it here.
There's more going on here than there is at home.

222
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,680
He looks like Henry Cooper.
Sings like him, too.

223
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:31,100
There's a couple down below.
I heard them arguing.

224
00:25:31,100 --> 00:25:35,480
I hope you've not been ear-wigging.
I were passing.

225
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:40,560
You've been "just passing" quite a
lot. How many times have you been?

226
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:45,860
I just like to, sort of, get the,
you know, the feel of the place.

227
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:53,140
Do you know, a thought has just
struck me. What was that?

228
00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:55,600
I think I'll go wash my feet.

229
00:25:58,780 --> 00:26:03,880
 Some day my prince will come... 

230
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,920
GARGLING

231
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:21,680
Nora Batty! My own true love.
Oh, God, what are you doing here? I love thee, Nora.

232
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:26,080
Don't come near me.
Have you left him in the lurch?

233
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:32,260
No, I've left him in t'bedroom.
Listen to me, Norry. Me cup runneth over.

234
00:26:32,260 --> 00:26:34,720
Yours is spilling out a bit as well.

235
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,980
Aaah! Ha-ha-ha!

236
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,940
You'll be all right tonight, Wally.

237
00:26:53,580 --> 00:27:01,820
What's wrong? Shush! Shush!
Shu-sh? I was full of shush a moment ago. It's you that started me off.

238
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:06,980
I keep hearing something. It's
some dozy Herbert saying, "Shush."

239
00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:09,380
Listen. It's nothing.

240
00:27:09,380 --> 00:27:15,320
I have a soldier's reflex.
The first cracking twig, I reach for my bayonet.

241
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,080
Who the hell's
gonna be cracking twigs up here?

242
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:23,520
It's haunted. This place is haunted.
Unless it's mice.

243
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:29,300
You mean terrifying, chain-rattling,
risen-from-the-grave mice, with fangs(?)

244
00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:35,640
All right, you don't believe me.
You listen. ..It's in the wardrobe.

245
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,900
It's a seagull.
What, in the wardrobe?

246
00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:44,160
No. It just SOUNDS like
it's in the wardrobe.

247
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:50,680
It does impressions.
Throws its voice. Ah, go to sleep. I'm going to investigate.

248
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:55,220
No. Stay there. I'LL do it.
I'll do it.

249
00:27:55,220 --> 00:28:00,160
I told thee. There's nowt in there.
You call that investigating?

250
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:07,360
Why don't we go for a walk along
the front? We could get a seat, now. What's he trying to hide?

251
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,980
Very little. Adjust your dress.

252
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:15,440
They've got inside your box.
I don't mind them being there.

253
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:20,860
I can't enjoy my holiday if some
creature's to be out in the cold.

254
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:25,540
You don't want mice in
your personal belongings. Here...

255
00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:29,500
It's his ferrets! He's brought them.

256
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:34,100
Like that Henry Cooper.
Out. No! Get them out!

257
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,700
Subtitles by Linda Singh, BBC

258
00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:17,300
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